Rules for women during the world cup

  1. I don’t want to hear Cristiano Ronaldo is hot
  2. When the world cup is on, the TV is mine. EastEnders, Corrie, Made in and TOWIE can do one
  3. I will most likely have a bet on so if you see me annoyed or upset, don’t say; “It’s only a game” or ” They will win next time”
  4. Having sex whilst I’m watching the game is a no no, however, oral is acceptable
  5. Replays are very important. If needs be I will re-wind back until every angle has been covered
  6. I will not be attending any of your friend’s parties or gatherings. (Unless it involves watching the World Cup)
  7. You are welcome to watch the game with me as long as you are SILENT
  8. Don’t ask me what the offside rule is. The answer will be “You sitting too near to me”
  9. The referee is always a w***ker
  10. If you hear me call your name be ready to grab me a beer or grab me a snack



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